Friday, May 20, 2005

A few rantings, and one thing that mystifies me

Here is another random listing, again a work in progress, because, after all, can I help it if are just so many things to rant about? This rather unimaginatively named list is in stark contrast to my “Reasons to Live” series, which usually happens on days when I ingest too much sugar in the mornings and display a rare sunshine-and-daisies side (it does exist, I tell you) of my personality. On all the other days, it’s just plain old rants.

Rant 1: Have you ever read a newspaper article describing an event where so many people were killed, or injured, or whatever? It invariably reads: 20 people, including 2 women, were injured. Huh? So let me get this straight. “People” normally means, you know, men. Thus, if there are women somehow involved in the picture, (which they are, invariably, being such pesky creatures) they must, in keeping with journalistic integrity, be mentioned separately. Right.

Rant 2. When you are walking down the street, sundry men will honk, loudly, even in perfectly stationary traffic. This is presumably to let you know that they appreciate the fact that you are a woman and you are walking down the street; naturally, this historic and rare occurrence must be acknowledged by no less a significant gesture than creating loud noises where completely unnecessary. Maybe you should carry a placard saying, “You are Men, Not Geese. Do Not Honk.”
On the other hand, it also gives you the thrilling chance to look at an assortment of toad-like men leering at you, with or without dark glasses. Oh joy!

Rant 3. Lest these rants be mistaken for a man-hater’s outpourings, here is one about women. Must you show up at the gym with loose flowing hair, glittering lip-gloss, and lingering perfume? Must you giggle and/or pout, or try to baby talk your way out of doing the tough exercises? Or talk incessantly on your pink cell phone while your instructor stands there tapping his toes?

Rant 4. People who launch into a regional language when there are members in the group who do not speak the language. Would this happen if the outsider were, say, an American or French person? I think not. Then why this lack of respect for fellow Indians? This one beats me every time.

And finally, the thing that mystifies me: Why, oh why, is Shakira doing an inchworm impersonation in her latest video, ‘La Tortura’? (Great song, by the way.) It looks suspiciously enough like she has been watching our Hindi movie song and dance routines, and felt a compelling urge to incorporate certain elements into her own work. In any event, she appears in the video coated with what looks like chocolate syrup, singing about torture and having minor but alarming convulsions.
To quote myself, “Eh?”


Jai said...

I've always wondered about the "including 'n' women" part of journalistic writing.

As for the rest of the rant -> lol

Gopal said...

Hi Devika,

Found your rantings quite amusing.

You write well.


Gaurav said...

Interesting thoughts Devika. Amusing too. I could very well relate to the one about vegetarians!! Will comment on that in my blog...whenever that happens. It just takes a dull weekend with loadfull of thoughts, right?

You write very well. You are supposed to..u taught me English! lol. Keep it up.

Col said...

Hey....well I must say that you will never run short of things to rant about.So dont stop let it keep coming;-)

Anonymous said...

I was always in awe with (of?, sorry for my english) people who can decipher the meaning of music videos. I'm just not strong enough to concentrate on finding any kind of meaning while watching videos with young and beautiful women moving their bodies suggestively (I hope I don't need to say what the suggestion is).
In my universe all the music videos are classified in to 2 groups. So, there is other kind of videos: the one without young, hot women. For those I never had enough patience to watch them and not think of something else.

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