Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Nothing pleases me

What a strange and underwhelming experience it has been. Let me start with the truly bad: see exhibits A1 and A2 above. On the left we have one Miley Cyrus, wearing what looks like a clump of vaguely poisonous upside-down mushrooms. And on her left we have Jessica Biel, who, not to be outdone by a mere stripling such as Cyrus, steps into a piece from Prada's latest pillowcase-cum-handtowel collection.

Moving on from the horror: just about the only blasts of color were provided by the reliable Freida Pinto, and Natalie Portman. Although Freida's Galliano gown is:
  • reminiscent of Drew Barrymore's at the Golden Globes
  • missing a sleeve OR has a sleeve where no sleeve is needed, and
  • giving her an unflattering straight shape,
I am so grateful that it is an actual color as opposed to some shade of gray or white, I will forgive. Natalie too is quite pretty in her lilac Rodarte number-although that Alicia Keys had to go and steal her thunder by wearing a dress of the same shade. The reason Keys lost was because she wore a wig.
Marisa Tomei kind of stood out in a grand and dramatic pleated Versace creation that she wore with aplomb. And then, Cruz, who has vowed to displease me on every occasion by trying to make us forget that she is, in fact, freaking cute, by wearing something just plain dull. The skirt part of her dress reminds me of stage curtains. And let us not go into the ..er...color.
Finally, Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive. Note the relentless lack of color, but at least the gown has some sparkle. It's a flattering shape, Freida take note, and the hem falls about in a most fetching way. Here I will give an honorable mention to J. Aniston for not turning up in black, instead boldly opting for--gasp! off-white! Still, despite this radical departure, her Valentino frock was less pretty than Anne's, so she does lose out.
So, that about sums it up. I could include Heidi Klum in her orangeish and stiffly poky frock, Nicole Kidman in (what else) pale cream and feathers, Reese Witherspoon in a menacing-looking blue and black thing, Marillon Cotillard in a menacing-looking blue and black thing, and the Jolie in her joke jewelry and snoozy black billowy gown, but I will not. I'm too bored.


Vinesh said...

my God, you're ruthless! if only camera phones were allowed in CVG, you'd have posted a blog on the folks here, with pictures :-)

dm said...

I think fear of my fashion critiques made them implement the no-cameraphone policy in the first place. Muahaha.

Related Posts with Thumbnails