Friday, February 28, 2014

You were never as beautiful as you are now

These days I have become keenly aware of the beautiful impermanence of things. I have always had an appreciation for this, having been so ill when I was very young and literally at death's door. But this, nowadays, this has come with age and the recent loss of someone very dear. 

It manifests in wildly varied ways. Having seen my mother last week after too much time, I spent half a day crying before I was to leave. I followed her around like a dog, wanting to burn her every gesture into my brain, memorize everything she said.

But also, when I see someone (a complete stranger, for instance) dressed in something outlandish, I no longer inwardly roll my eyes as I used to. Instead, I feel a strange urge to walk up to them; last night this happened when I was waiting for my cab. It was a stunningly beautiful evening and this woman waited nearby dressed in a hideous yellow outfit. 

My heart yearned to go up to her and say, 'you look wonderful. Enjoy this evening. You will look back and realize years later, that you were never as beautiful as you are now."


Anonymous said...

Hauntingly profound, beautiful and gorgeous. You are wise beyond your years and capture and express this wisdom beautifully. Reading this had a profound effect on me and caused me to sit and think deeply on what you conveyed. Most of your writing hits me hard and deep...forcing me to deeply feel things that would otherwise go unfelt in this crazy busy world.

Anonymous said...

I'm also VERY glad to hear you finally went to see your mom (and I know it's been a long time because we talked of it in Jan and even Feb I believe. What a beautiful hard as it was to say goodbye I'm grateful you were able to have such a special visit...and hopefully you're back there again soon (one of the few advantages of living in Bangalore...right?) :-)

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